Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
