You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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