PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize