so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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