It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
