Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
