I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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