So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize