im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This toilet bowl is my home.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The air taste purple.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
