She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
