Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
