I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
