are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just high enough for therapy.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
