am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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