I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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