yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
