sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
