Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
