I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
