How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
