Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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