mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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