Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We got so high we made milksteak
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
