question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
