can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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