where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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