I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
