I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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