Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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