I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
