I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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