I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
