I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
