please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
