Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
