Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
