so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
