I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize