we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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