Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this will be a night to untag.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
