Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
