On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wish my penis had a tongue
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
