He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
