Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dick very happy bro
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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