she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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