The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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