Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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