You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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