Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
