Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize