I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
