So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
