And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
