The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
