I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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