Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
