do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
