Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
