just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You are a genius and a whore.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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