walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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