When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
